It’s something every mother, at any stage, is familiar with in some way. It’s a type of worry that is so incessant that only grows with your children.
When you first see the positive pregnancy test, it’s what you feel when you wonder if you’ll be a good enough mom.
For some, it’s what you feel when you wonder how you can possibly raise and provide for an unplanned child.
It’s the feeling you get when you wonder if this one will stick.
It goes away temporarily, at the first sound of a heartbeat.
But it comes back when you suddenly feel a different kind of pain.
It happens when you realize that you haven’t felt a kick in only God knows how long.
It happens when you wonder if your baby will be born with something that isn’t considered to be perfect.
It’s what you feel when you realize how close your due date is approaching and you wonder if you’re ready.
It’s the feeling you get when you go into labor — far too early or even past your due date.
Some moms don’t feel this at all, but they feel it when they wonder if the adoption process will go through, if the child who did not grow inside her will love her and if she could love this child with all of her being.
But worry doesn’t stop at birth or when the adoption process is completed. There suddenly becomes so much more to worry about.
It’s suddenly what you feel when you wonder if you’re feeding baby the right thing.
When you wonder if you’re putting him to sleep the right way.
When you don’t know if you should let her cry it out or rock her until she’s asleep, yet again.
When you see the news and there’s another shooting, another kidnapping, another lost wandering child, another incident where a toddler is harmed in any way.
It’s the thing that keeps you up at night wondering how you can protect your child from this world.
It’s the feeling you get when you let your child ride the bus for the first time or walk home with a friend.
It’s there when you turn around in the grocery store and don’t see your child right there.
It’s what you feel when your teenager is not answering the phone that you have him in case of emergencies.
It’s the feeling you get when your child drives alone for the first time.
It happens when you wake up in the middle of the night and your child isn’t home or when you are suddenly woken up by your child calling you.
It’s what you feel when you watch the news about another college rape and wonder how your daughter is doing so far from home.
It happens when you wonder if your son is making the right choice about his career choice.
It’s there when you wonder if your child is really happy in the relationship she’s in.
It’s when you hear that your about to become a grandmother and the cycle starts all over again.
As a mother, there are so many opportunities for worry. So many things have paralyzed me in fear, especially when you hear about unjust shootings. I don’t feel safe almost anywhere these days, but moreover, I don’t know how to kee my kids safe.
I could choose to keep worrying. I could choose to lose sleep over all of this. But Jesus said something that has stayed in my head for so long:
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:27 NIV)
I realize that I, as a mother to the children that God has entrusted to me, have so much to worry about. I don’t want anything but the best for the babies who grew inside me, and it kills me that I cannot ensure that to them. I hate that there is so much evil in the world that I cannot protect them from. It pains me to know that my children will have to live through their own pains one day.
But what will worrying do for me? What will worrying do for them?
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
Guys, I’ve felt that peace, the one that transcends ALL understanding. It’s the most unexplainable, amazing feeling I’ve ever had. Worrying, on the other hand, kind of makes me feel like garbage.
I’m not promised that everything in life will turn out the way that I want it to or that I and my loved ones will remain safe from all harm. But I am promised that wonderful peace if I surrender my worries at the Cross. It’s an amazing trade off.
“The truth is we have nothing to fear and nothing to overcome because He is all in all and we are more then conquerors through Him.” (Oswald Chambers, Approved Unto God, 4 R.)